1. Three words: eat the check.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".

8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

70 comments
  1. Mdg 137 00:13  

    that is some lolage right there.

  2. AmericanVoter 00:33  

    If you want to annoy a waiter, when they to take your order, tell them the first thing you would like is form them to do their job.

    Then give the waiter a single dollar bill as a tip and make a loud public display about it.

    Make some loud statement like, "He earned every penny of it too."

    LOL!!!

  3. viznine 02:09  

    Mdg 137 } Yes it's.

    AmericanVoter } Hahaha. That's funny too buddy.. :)

  4. Minka 04:54  

    And I thought you were nice ... :)

  5. fairyfeet 07:42  

    10 ways to annoy the table you are serving

    1.Stand at their table and list every single special you can possibly think of.

    2.When they don't buy the more expensive steak, make sure they know you think they're cheap. Make sure they're neighbors know it too.

    3. Bring their food, and then stand two feet from the table chatting with your friend about how her brother is dating your second cousin.

    4. Food. In. Lap.

    5. Forget to bring that mayonaise they keep asking for.

    6. Bring they check. Take their credit card. Take forever to bring it back.

    7. That hot pie you were supposed to bring out? Make sure it sits on the counter for at least ten minutes.

    8. They don't really need diet. It's bad for them anyway. So really, your'e doing them a favor!

    9. Trust me. They can't actually tell the difference between cafinated coffe and decaf.

    10. If they leave a terrible tip, tell all the other servers at the restaurant. Then their next visit can be just as memorable!

  6. viznine 07:53  

    Minka } Really buddy??

    fairyfeet } Thanks for that. Great jokes.. :)

  7. Mego 20:46  

    lol I love it! I would order everything that isn't on the menu as well... that would definitely make some hairs stand..

  8. viznine 00:19  

    hahaha! I will order the menu same like you.. lol again! :)

  9. Marissa Explains It All 08:38  

    I would love to see the waiters face if you ate the check. That is kind of a funny idea!

  10. To Visit My 06:52  

    eat or drink, cough really hard.

  11. tiffanybam 07:11  

    haha cool way to annoy one

  12. Erin Tales 22:24  

    LOL at your list and FairyFeets!

  13. Re 00:49  

    eating the check makes yourself very stupid, don't you think?

    just sneeze on the check will do, like use it to cover your mouth and nose..

  14. Roshan 01:09  

    It was very nice. I like it very much.

  15. Bagel Girl 04:49  

    Ate the check. They gave me another. Ate that check too. The waiter then HELD the check, said "don't eat this! You have to PAY this!" and I said "Sorry, sorry, here let me see......then I ate THAT check. Then the waiter got the manager who said "Miss, listen, you owe us forty six dollars for your meal, will you please pay us now?" Then I took the check off the table next to me, and ate it. At which point the police were called. The officer said "I don't want there to be a problem, the restaurant just needs you to pay the check." to which I said, "what check? I never got a check. If I received a check, I would be happy to pay it." So the officer has the waiter get me a new check. Which I ate. At this point the officer sees the whole dilemma clearly. I was promptly kicked out of the establishment and written a ticket for two hundred dollars. Which I ate.

  16. Alex 05:43  

    I hate it when people are mean to waiters...

  17. viznine 13:10  

    Marissa Explains It All } hahaha! just do it! ;)

    To Visit My } that's funny too.. :)

    tiffanybam } way cool dude!

    ErinTales } LOL again.. :)

    Re } Yes i know it but it's a joke alright?

    Roshan } Yes it was. So do i.. :)

    BagelGirl } awesome dude.. nice jokes! :)

    Alex } Take it easy my friend.. It's just a joke only.. :)

  18. Anonymous 15:22  

    If its a male waiter punch him in the balls.
    If its a female waiter grope her.

    Either way leave them a nice tip.

  19. viznine 15:30  

    Hahaha! lol. Its up to you to decide it my friend.. ;)

  20. sportsluver911 16:38  

    haha that's really funny. i ate the check one time, but then i got really sick and had to spend 6 hours in the emergency room. and trust me explaining what happened to the doctor definitely wasn't worth the pain in my stomach.

  21. animatedmonkey 18:02  

    4. ask the waiter the circumfrence of the table "uh sir do you know how big this table is? I would like to buy one, thats why."

  22. ¡Se armó la karakatanga! 04:04  

    r u waiting for ur acounter bring u my tip?

  23. Tairebabs 04:28  

    slowly read every item on the menu and when you are done simply say "nah i think i will skip breakfast today".

  24. Funky Nia 07:54  

    brilliant ideas!

  25. viznine 12:17  

    sportsluver911 } hahaha! so cool dude..

    animatedmonkey } I'm also want to buy it.. lol.. :)

    Se armo la karatanga } hahaa.. keep waiting buddy.. ;)

    Tairebabas } You go for it girl.. :)

    Funky Nia } Indeed.. :)

  26. Shelly 05:07  

    I don't even have to try to annoy the waiters, I just let them know I have a severe food allergy and actually have to know what I'm being served.

    One manager had the kahunas to come out and tell me to bring my own food in the future.

  27. Afura 07:27  

    Ok, so my favs are;

    2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"

    4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

    8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

    LOL.

  28. viznine 16:10  

    Shelly } You're really good person buddy.. ;)

    Afura } LOL too.. :)

  29. CanadianHeel 02:15  

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA graet!

  30. viznine 03:46  

    Thanks man.. ;)

  31. 'ShE's'~DustfingerNaiL 04:00  

    kakakkaakakka~ this is so hilarious!!!

  32. SoulMate 04:31  

    Thats not working in China ;)

    nice nice Blog very funny!!!

  33. Zawir Al-Hamidi 05:24  

    If you want to annoy a waiter, than just get out of the restaurant or cafe or etc.

  34. viznine 14:54  

    She's'~DustFingerNail } wakakaka!!

    SoulMate } Thank you so much.. :)

    Zawir Al-Hamidi } Thats right too man!

  35. King Paca 01:44  

    Wow this is some great stuff!!!!!

  36. RestlessWriter 03:10  

    oh my gosh. as a waitress ,if anyone ever did that i'd cry!! ok, not really, considering you are in MY restaurant. but yeah, profession aside, that is incredibly funny

  37. viznine 05:35  

    King Paca } You found it dude!

    RestlessWriter } hahaha! Thats the way it is girl.. :)

  38. Ace 05:52  

    hehehe!!! i tried those lines.. very effective!

  39. Speedcat Hollydale 07:07  

    I would be afraid to eat the food!

  40. margotreehugger 08:15  

    Hehe, very good. I would be too afraid to annoy the waiter in fear my food would be contaminated in some way lol.

  41. viznine 09:47  

    Ace } Congrats dude.

    Speedcat Hollydale } LOL.

    margotreehugger } I'm so glad you're back. hahahaha! Better don't do it buddy! :)

  42. Oyen 03:54  

    hop.

    you made me LOL really hard

  43. Will Manly 05:37  

    now that's funny!

  44. YADIS 07:46  

    Very good, make someone smile

  45. viznine 08:25  

    Oyen } Really dude? LOL.

    Will Manly } Very funny.. :D

    YADIS } My job to make people smile.. LOL! ;)

  46. art blog 14:11  

    eat the check - i love that!!

    I think Ill give that a go over the week - do I eat it as soon as it is brought?

  47. hockeyislife70 15:29  

    funny! i would consistently call the waiter by different names

  48. viznine 23:52  

    art blog } I love it too.. hahahaha!

    hockeyislife70 } LOL.. ;)

  49. Ben 17:28  

    good stuff, i would also add special requests such as moving to another table, then moving back after 5 minutes. with all your food already there of course, to increase the hassle.

  50. viznine 01:14  

    Ben } LOL! Thanks for your special requests.. :)

  51. Jesikuh157 06:13  

    LOL funny stuff, my friend and I annoyed waiters at Chinese buffet, it was hilarious!

  52. viznine 00:43  

    OMG! You did it girl. LOL!

  53. Elle Vee 06:50  

    waiters make 2.13 an hour...be advised if you treat them poorly they will bite...

  54. viznine 06:10  

    Elle Vee } LOL! :D

  55. Brian Miller 06:21  

    lol. amazing.

  56. TeesUnleashed.com 07:30  

    great article! :D

  57. viznine 08:46  

    Thanks.. ;)

  58. The Peanut Butter Blur 05:41  

    you forgot a few:

    11-slurp your empty cup through a straw for all to hear until your beverage has been replenished.

    12-cut out a fortune cookie fortune-sized sheet of paper before you go to the restaurant, write on one side "you're profession has plateaued as high as it's going to go for the duration of your life" and on the other side, the chinese word for "webbed feet", which is "lao-tzu-wei", and then slip it in their napkin/tip/straw fanny pack when they're not looking.

    13-before they reply to your asking what the soup of the day is, punch them in the throat and yell "Thank God it's friday!" then apologize and acknowledge that you forgot it's actually thursday, and you're just a mis-informed individual with impulsive behavior.



    but regardless, that was one of the funniest blogs i've ever read. kudos. kudos.

  59. Hoang Giao 07:41  

    lol. very funny, just what i needed to end my day.

  60. viznine 16:14  

    The Peanut Butter Blur } You got it dude! :)

    Hoang Giao } LOL too! :D

  61. Anonymous 17:08  

    eat the check :L

    1. make a list of things the restaraunt can improve, and talk about it loudly to someone everytime the waiter walks by. After you're done, write them down on a napkin or paper, and give it to him/her with the bill.
    We did that once, and we saw the waiter reading it then passing it on to someone else to read LOL

  62. Raluca 17:31  

    This is hilarious and a really good way to get a loogie in your food :)

  63. viznine 04:03  

    Anonymous } hahaha! :)

    Raluca } You're right girl. :D

  64. serenity 17:45  

    Nice post buddy.

  65. Livin' Louisiana 20:05  

    How funny! Enjoyed the pictures!

  66. cleanslate 20:05  

    Place order for food that would be remotely available.
    Keep repeating exotic menus that are not served that part of the land.
    Finally, raise hands give up and say...Here's my tip...Go and work in a better place.

  67. Absolute Domains 21:42  

    Too funny I enjoyed this quite a bit. fairyfeet they all said I was paranoid at restaraunts but now I know for sure they are trying to make me angry :)

  68. liyah* 23:25  

    cool i want too do that to my bff at her restrant

  69. viznine 03:28  

    serenity } so nice. :)

    Livin' Louisiana } I enjoy it too. :)

    cleanslate } LOl! ;)

    Absolute Domains } Damn! You got it man. :D

    liyah } You go it girl. :)

  70. L.J.Daniels 05:09  

    Nice.
    I am now officially on a mission.

    Thanks.